Secret Admirer
by Chalithra
Summary: FINALLY... Chapter four up... sorry to take so long you guys
1. The poem and the gift

**A/N:** Here it is… the first chapter of my new story. It is Gwendal and… well… just who is his secret admirer? You will just have to wait and find out. Read and Review please. I welcome any and all pointers but flames will be used to toast marshmallows.

**Disclaimer**: I do not own KKM or its characters… the poem, however is MINE and is not to be used without permission.

**Chapter one: the poem and the gift**

Gwendal von Voltaire was a very reserved person. His near permanent scowl and even temper was not one that he believed to inspire anything resembling romantic notions. So it was with true surprise that he found a short note on his desk after lunch written in flowing calligraphy:

_I don't know how to say this really._

_I don't know what to do._

_The only thing that I'm sure of, _

_Is that I'm in love with you._

_I can't tell what's on your mind,_

_I can not read your heart._

_But I'd like for you to know,_

_That if I had my way we would never part._

_All my love,_

_Your secret admirer_

As he read these lines his eyes went wide in surprise and he sat down heavily. Who in Shinou's name could be writing to him? He didn't believe that it would be Gunter. His oldest friend could be annoyingly romantic when he wanted to be, but he would have signed his own name to the note. Not to mention the fact that Gwendal _knew_ that the heart of his friend belonged irrevocably to another. So who could it be? He didn't recognize the handwriting so it could be almost anyone. He was so preoccupied with his poem that he didn't even notice that the door opened. "What do you have there Gwen?" the amused voice of Gunter knocked him out of his reverie and nearly made him fall out of the chair. "I… I… here, read for yourself." Gwendal held the note out, not even bothering to hide his embarrassment. Gunter merely raised an eyebrow and took the note from him and as he read it his eyes widened in surprise and amusement. "So, someone likes you Gwen, and they are not comfortable enough to come out and say it. Any ideas at all as to who?" "No, and it bothers me more then I would like to admit. I do not recognize the handwriting either. Now I need to get back to revising these proposals before Yuuri-heika comes back from sword practice." Gwendal took back the poem, folded it, put it in his breast pocket and started on his paperwork.

Later that night Gwendal entered his room just to see another envelope on his bed, along with a small package. Opening the package with shaking fingers he found it to be a new hair tie. Frowning, he turned to the envelope, opening it and extracting the letter inside, written in the same flowing calligraphy as the poem.

_My dearest Gwendal, I hope you enjoyed my little poem. I really do have feelings for you and I would like nothing more then to tell you in person but circumstances make that difficult. If you are interested in finding out more please wear the hair tie I included with this letter. If you do you will receive another letter sometime this week. If not, I will know that your heart is already spoken for and you will never hear from me again._

_All my love,_

_Your secret admirer_

Now Gwendal really didn't know what to do. Leaving a love poem in his office was one thing. Leaving a letter and a gift in his private quarters was a more difficult feat. However, he decided to ponder all the ramifications of this in the morning.

After a night spent tossing and turning with little sleep, Gwendal rose before dawn as he always did and made his way to his study. He brought both the letter and the new hair tie intending to ask Gunter his opinion on the matter. The normally stoic general did not know what to do in this situation. It was truly unfamiliar territory. He had indulged in affairs over the years but they were mutually pursued for the sake of pleasure. Never before had anyone attempted to look beneath the surface to his heart. He was well aware of the fact that many of the soldiers and nobles believed that he did not even possess a heart. This fact made the current situation even more confusing. Who knew him enough to look beneath the surface and yet was uncertain enough not to reveal their feelings directly? It was a maddening problem that did not get any better when Gunter merely chuckled and suggested that if he wished to know, he'd simply have to wear the new hair tie and be patient. It occurred to Gwendal that his old friend might actually know more then he let on but he decided to wait it out. Against his better judgment his curiosity had been aroused. There was always the chance that these letters could prove to be the end of his loneliness…


	2. Hidden emotions

**Disclaimer: **I, of course, don't own any of the characters or the setting.

**Chapter two: hidden emotions**

The next few days went by in a blur for Gwendal. After agonizing over whether or not to wear the hair tie it seemed almost anticlimactic when he wore it all day and nothing happened. Going back to the letter his spirits were a little revived when he read that the next letter would arrive sometime during the week. Not necessarily the next day. That could be a clue as to the identity of his admirer. What if it was someone that he didn't interact with everyday? That would make sense but if so, who could it be? There was also the problem with someone knowing him well enough to see beneath the surface. Gwendal didn't think that a casual acquaintance would bother to look beneath the surface and see the man beneath the stoic mask of the general. No, it had to be someone he interacted with regularly. Maybe the timeline was because his admirer wanted to make certain that his heart was not spoken for. It was a maddening problem that did not get any easier. If anything as two more days passed with nothing happening, Gwendal began to fret that maybe he had misinterpreted something. His already short temper shortened even further, there was an almost permanent scowl on his features and he had taken to taking his meals in his office so as not to inflict his temper on anyone. There were only three people that approached him at all.

The first one was Gunter. His friend was a source of comfort although he was far too amused with the situation for Gwendal's liking. He asked every single morning if there had been a new letter and something of how he said it made the general very sure that his oldest friend either new something or was part of the conspiracy in some way.

The second one was Yuuri-heika although if he could have avoided his general he probably would have. The king spent every afternoon signing papers just as he always did, but Gwendal knew that he was being watched with concern. The general really had to hand it to him though, since coming back to Shin Makoku for good a few years ago Yuuri really had tried to become a better king. He had also grown up significantly. While the engagement to Wolfram had been mutually dissolved a few years ago, the two were still firm friends and continued to raise Greta together. They had simply decided that they were not romantically in love with each other and gone their separate ways. This had marked the starting point of Yuuri's taking on more and more of his kingly duties. He had, in short, truly begun to grow into his role as Maou. He had also grown into a handsome young man… wait… since when was the king handsome and not just cute? These letters must be affecting him more then he knew.

The last one was Princess Greta. Now fourteen years old she was still the only one who dared approach him at his worst.

"Uncle Gwen? You promised to take me riding today," came the soft voice from the door. "Don't tell me you forgot."

"I didn't forget I've just been really busy," Gwendal said as he rose from behind his desk. "Heika, if you will excuse me."

"Oh, yeah, have fun you two." Came the reply from his king who was looking over the new trade negotiations with Caloria. "It's a nice day, I wish I could go with you but that might spoil your fun."

Greta laughed, "I know for a fact you are meeting uncle Conrad and uncle Wolfram for training later so I get to steal uncle Gwendal for a while so he doesn't get glued to his desk."

Gwendal blushed a little as Greta laughed at him but allowed himself to be pulled to the stable.

He was, after all, the one that Yuuri had entrusted to watch over Greta as she learned to ride. And it was a duty that he took just as seriously as he did all his other duties. He had to admit that it was one of the few things he did that were truly relaxing.

As they mounted their horses Gwendal was debating whether or not to tell his niece what was going on. The princess saw more then most people believed and she might know something he did not. The question would be if she would tell him. Greta would keep a secret to her grave if she deemed it worthy enough and she just might consider this one of them. He decided not to as he really wasn't comfortable yet to talk about his feelings. He still couldn't quite believe it. Who could it be? More importantly, did he really want this? True, he did wear the hair tie but did he really and truly want to be courted by someone he didn't know? Gwendal mulled the question over and over in his mind for the rest of the day and then all his questions, all his feelings were thrown for another loop as he entered his chambers that night and found another letter. Sitting down on his bed he opened it with shaking fingers. There it was, written in the same flowing calligraphy; another letter. He quickly turned it over but there was still no name in the signature. Scowl turned to surprise as he began to read:

_My dearest Gwendal,_

_I have been watching you the past few days and I am overjoyed that you liked my little gift. It wasn't much but I had to know if there was someone already in your heart. The last thing I want to do, my dearest one, is get between you and your happiness. I love you too much for that. There is an old saying that states: "If you love it, set it free, if it doesn't come back it was not meant to be." I hope and pray that you will not fly away from me but I can not and will not attempt to control your heart. It is yours to give to whomever you please. I hope that my silence the past few days have not given you cause to think that I did not care. Rest assured I wished to write this letter the instant I saw you wearing my gift yet I did not for fear that I would rush things too much. I have been arguing with myself constantly these past few days as to whether or not to tell you who I am. But I can not yet, as I fear still that you would not truly hear my words if you knew. For now this is how it must stay, I apologize. _

_With all the love in my heart,_

_I remain yours._

_Your secret admirer_

Gwendal couldn't believe his eyes as he read the letter. To know that someone in this very castle loved him that much sent both his head and heart into a tailspin. He felt an unknown warmth settle inside his heart as he read the letter again. It was a little disheartening to know that his unknown lover still feared him enough to not reveal himself, on the other hand he had spent so many years locking away his heart that it was at least slightly understandable.

The next morning Gwendal took great pleasure in showing his letter to Gunter. The other man lit up at the sight of a new letter and his eyebrows rose as he read it.

"Gwen, whoever this is he or she is truly serious about courting you. Are you sure that you have no idea who it is?"

Gwendal frowned at his friend's serious tone. "No, I still have no idea. No one has acted any different towards me. I don't know what has you so worried."

"Merely the thought that if you fall in love with this person only through the letters and then find yourself disappointed with the actual sender you both could get seriously hurt." Gwendal was slightly taken aback at his friends words.

"I… I have to admit I hadn't thought about that. I was just happy that someone cared that much for me, I thought you would be happy for me."

Gunter started at these words. He had truly hurt his friend without meaning to. He was one of the few people Gwendal trusted enough to show his feelings to and he had betrayed that trust.

"I'm sorry Gwen, I didn't think. Of course I'm happy for you I just want you to be careful that's all. I don't want you to get hurt."

"When am I ever not careful with my heart? You keep telling me I've been **too** careful over the years. And then, when I finally decide to take a chance, you wish me not to. Make up your mind old friend."

Gunter smiled slightly. "The romantic inside me wants to gush over how truly wonderful it is that you received this letter and how much this person cares for you. It has to be a true love for them to go to these lengths to let you know how they feel. But I also want you to be careful old friend. I just do not want anyone to play games with your heart. That happened before if you'll recall. I don't want to loose you… we came too close to last time."

Gwendal frowned as he remembered one of the darkest times in his life. His friend did have a point. "I will be careful. I promise. Besides, I have to wait and see if I get another letter and in the meantime observe everyone and see if anyone gives anything away that could clue me in as to the identity of my secret admirer."

"Sounds like a sound plan. Now as for my lessons with heika today…"

The two friends began their normal discussion of the day's schedule and soon everything was almost back to normal. Except for the fact that whenever Gwendal had a free moment that day he would go over the three letters, trying to find out who had sent them, and trying to ignore the feelings they brought.

**A/N: **Well… there is chapter two, as of right now I haven't decided who Gwen's admirer is so we'll have to see. As usual any reviews are more then welcome and flames will be used to roast marshmallows.


	3. Poem and Thunderstorm

**A/N: **I would like to thank Methos 21 and Sailorette for sticking with me, your reviews for both chapters gave me the motivation to write this third one. *hands you both some cookies* enjoy chapter three you guys!

**Chapter three: poems and thunderstorms**

Almost a week passed without incident and Gwendal was beginning to feel like the letters were a sick joke when he walked into his office to find another envelope. His heart skipped a beat as he opened it to reveal the now familiar calligraphy:

_Gwendal my love, _

_I am so sorry that I have not written for several days but I was unable to. Please forgive me. I do not wish you to feel like I am playing with your heart because I assure you I am not. Please accept this letter and the small token of my affection that you will receive later today as an apology for my silence. I know you are wondering who I am and while nothing would make me happier then to walk up to you and tell you myself it isn't something I can do just yet. I wish I could get rid of the fears that grip my heart but it is hard for me. I see you every day and I long for a time when I do not have to put my feelings down on paper but can tell you in person. I wrote this poem for you a few days ago and I include it hoping that you can read between the lines to the truth within my heart._

_I want to always be with you,_

_I hold you in my heart,_

_I try so hard to make you smile,_

_I cry when we're apart._

_I want so much to tell you,_

_All the secrets of my soul_

_I wish that I could just hold you,_

_And make your happiness my goal._

_With all my love,_

_I am yours._

_Your Secret Admirer_

Gwendal's eyebrows rose as he read the first lines. Who had been absent from the castle recently? And then he groaned as he realized that almost everyone on his list had been absent from the castle for a few days: Yuuri-heika and The Great Sage had had some sort of "exam" on Earth and had been gone for five days, returning yesterday evening. Yozak had been gone on a mission for three days and had reported his findings yesterday morning, Annissina had been called to her family holdings… actually she wasn't back yet so that was a load off his mind. Not that she was ever seriously on his list since she had never been afraid of anything in her life and it just wasn't in her character. In fact, everyone that had access to his office and could conceivably enter his quarters had been missing from Covenant Castle sometime during the critical timeline. It was infuriating. He had originally thought that he could use this to narrow down the list of suspects but it was not to be.

"I see you got another letter Gwen, may I read it?" Came the voice of Gunter from the doorway. Gwendal handed his friend the letter and watched him read it saying softly:

"This person is truly serious… I had my doubts there for a few days when I didn't receive anything."

"You and me both old friend, I am glad though that it wasn't just a game. It would have been too cruel."

"So, what do you think I should do now, besides waiting for this "token of apology" to appear of course."

"Honestly Gwen, I don't know. Normally between us we **should** be able to figure out who is doing this but it is just maddening."

"What's maddening Gunter?" Both men spun around at the soft question. To the amusement of Gunter and the amounting horror of Gwendal their king stood in the doorway, a puzzled look on his face.

"Nothing that you need to worry about heika, it is a private matter." Gunter said as he moved to herd the younger man out of the room. "But I do wish to speak to you about the decorations and your costume for the birthday ball. Princess Greta has requested that you match and I need your approval on the colors as well as…" his voice faded in the hallway along with Yuuri's protests that he really didn't need to be involved in all the details, that Greta and Gunter were perfectly capable on their own etc.

Gwendal breathed a sigh of relief as their voices faded. He really was not prepared yet to answer questions from anyone about his letters. They were private and no one except from Gunter, himself and, of course, the sender was to know about them. Gwendal was, after all, a very private demon and he did not wish his letters to become the fodder for another betting pool within the castle. He just **knew** that his mother would over react if she ever found out. He did not relish the thought of having her interrogate everyone in Covenant Castle until she found the "love of her son's life." Gwendal shuddered at the thought. No, he was eternally grateful to his friend for defusing the situation. The last thing he wanted was for this to become a public spectacle.

Gwendal had a hard time focusing that day. It seemed that no matter what he was doing his thoughts went back to the letters. Who was writing them and when was he going to find this "token of apology" that the letter spoke of? He was anxious and excited and it was all he could do to maintain his stoic mask around the others. Unknowingly that meant that his scowl was deeper then normal and that most people avoided him for fear of his wrath. He had all his meals in his office, working steadily throughout the day only pausing every once in a while to reread one of the letters or to soothe his frazzled nerves by working on the knitted scarf he was going to give Greta for her birthday. She had laughingly informed him she was too old for stuffed animals so he was trying something new. However, he had been so preoccupied with his letters that he hadn't really worked on it much and he was determined to get some of it done today so that it would be completed on time. It really was too bad that he had so much paperwork as well. As chief advisor to the maoh he had to read every proposal before passing it on and it took a lot of time. Granted it took less time now that his king was doing his duty but it took a long time nonetheless.

Gwendal finished the last of the paperwork for the day just as a clap of thunder made itself known over Covenant Castle. He jumped slightly at the unexpected sound and then decided to go to his room to watch the storm and be alone. Gwendal, unlike his youngest brother, actually liked thunderstorms. They were majestic displays of nature's power and he could watch for hours as lighting streaked across the sky. Making his way to his rooms Gwendal was so focused on the storm that he almost missed the wrapped package and the by now familiar envelope sitting on his bed… almost. Quickly walking over to the bed it was all Gwendal could do to open the envelope first and reading the contents of the newest letter:

_My dearest one, _

_Again I most humbly apologize for making you worry about whether or not this was real. I love you more then my own life and I would do anything to prevent you from being in pain. I know that no mere trinket can actually convey the depth of my devotion but I wish that you would accept the gift I have included for you nonetheless as it does come from my heart. I am going to tell you now that there will only be two more of these letters. I will either find the courage to tell you as myself or the last letter will bear my true signature. Either way if you truly wish to know me, all you have to do is accept my gift and be patient with me as I wrestle with my fears. _

_Forgive me for my fears and know that my heart is forever yours,_

_Your Secret Admirer_

His heart beating hard Gwendal turned to the small present sitting next to him. Fighting to keep his hands from trembling he slowly unwrapped the small gift and gasped…

**A/N: I know, I know it's not fair of me to leave it there but it is with good reason. The gift holds a clue as to who is writing the letters and I haven't 100% decided that yet. If you feel like making your suggestions known to me, (anyone but Gunter and Annissina is fair game) press the little button below this note and REVIEW.**


	4. Gift from the heart

**A.N. I know that this is a very short chapter but I've finally gotten my computer up and running again and you have all been waiting for way too long as is. Enjoy.**

Chapter four – the gift from the heart

Gwendal sat on the bed, staring at the object in his lap. He'd been sitting there frozen ever since he had unwrapped the small teddy bear with an oval shaped locket, engraved with symbols on one side and a tree on the other, around its neck. There were only two people in the entire castle who could have gotten him this gift: Yuuri-heika or the Great Sage. Now, there was an incredibly slight possibility that someone else had asked them to bring it, but Gwendal didn't really believe that. His list just got narrowed down incredibly. Now if only he could figure out how to open the locket maybe he would find out more. However, there seemed to be no way **to** open it. At least, no way that he could figure out. Groaning in frustration Gwendal nearly threw the locket across the room but reconsidered at the last minute. Maybe there was some catch to this that he hadn't yet considered. Maybe there was a key to this locket that would be given to him later. There were just too many variables to consider.

After giving up on sleep right before dawn, Gwendal decided he would take his newest friend to the office. Maybe Yuuri-heika's reaction would tell him what he needed to know. As he entered his office his eyebrows rose at the sight of an envelope on his desk. First there was no word for nearly a week and then three letters within two days? Not that he minded as this meant there would only be one more letter. Setting his new friend on his desk he opened the letter and read:

_My dearest Gwendal,_

_I sincerely hope you like my little gift. I thought you could use a new friend and also the locket is very special. I have kept its mate as well as the key to opening them for the time being. If, when you finally find out who I am you do not wish to be with me, I will give both items to you so that you can give them to the person of your choice. _

_Know that you will always be the keeper of my heart._

_Your Secret Admirer_

Sighing softly, Gwendal decided that he would show the locket only to Gunter. At least he had been vindicated in his belief that there was more to it then met the eye. While he would, most definitely, share the letters and the locket with his friend. The teddy bear would stay in his quarters. Even though it was widely known that the General had a preference for everything cute, there was no reason to go overboard. He really wished he could open the locket but at least he could pretend it was a pendant. His admirer knew him rather too well to have figured out what he would like so exactly.


End file.
